Alone Time: 4 Steps To Truly Loving Your Own Company

Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. In fact, according to an article on CNN.com penciling in some ‘me time’ every once in a while is pretty darn essential, and loving your own company can not only strengthen your relationships with others, but also lessen anxiety, build your confidence and help you achieve long-term goals.

But getting to that place where you’re comfortable in your own skin isn’t exactly easy, is it? Thankfully though, with a little effort and a small push outside of your comfort zone, loving your own company is totally possible. Here’s how…

1. Expel negative thoughts about yourself

You’re not going to enjoy spending time with numero uno if it’s filled with thoughts like ‘my thighs are massive’, ‘I could never do that’ or ‘I’m not good enough’.  Sure, it’s very easy to believe all the negative things you tell yourself about how you look or how you act but changing your thought process and learning to value yourself is a much more rewarding experience – albeit a difficult one. Struggling to battle those demons? We recommend downloading the Change My Self Talk worksheet from Self Esteem School to kickstart the process.

2. Go to a movie alone

Go on, just do it! Yes, it’s a little bit scary, but it’s the first step to conquering other more intimidating social situations; like eating alone or travelling solo. Plus, you have all the room on both arm rests, you don’t have to share your popcorn, and you get to pick the movie you really want to see. Nobody’s looking at you thinking you’re a loner. Own it, girlfriend.

3. Push yourself to create

Love to draw, bake or write? Whatever your passion is, pursue it. If you ignore the call to create something you’ll stay in your comfort zone forever. In fact, a study by the American Psychological Association found that creative people are happier and more self assured, because it allows time for positive self-reflection.

4. Pursue future plans

Everyone has ideas of what they would like to do or experience in the future. Whether it’s to travel, to work in a certain field, or to start a family. These don’t need to be earth shattering, overwhelming plans; as long as they make you happy, it’s all that matters, but here’s the crux; achieving things makes you more self assured, and in turn that builds your confidence to take on bigger and better things. The more you can build that confidence, the more you’ll trust your gut and feel comfortable in your own skin.

STELLAR readers tell us how they learnt to love their own company…

Heather, 22

“My ex and I broke up suddenly after being together for six years. After a couple of weeks of feeling sad and lonely, I decided to embrace taking some time alone and focusing on myself for a while. Once I made that decision, it was as if everything just fell into place for me. I landed my dream job, and got accepted to a masters degree that I had applied for. I also did some travelling around Europe and America, which I had never done before. Although it was scary at times, I’ve never been happier and it’s all because I took some time out to decide what I really wanted.”

Sarah, 27

“I lost my job a year and a half ago and at first it felt like my world was crumbling around me. But then I told myself I needed to snap out of it and that this was an opportunity to go and do something that would make me happy. I decided to go and travel in Thailand, completely on my own. It was amazing, such a learning experience and I realised that I love my being by myself. I wasn’t lonely at all.”

• Life Hacks
• skills
• wellness