Got A First Date? These 5 Steps Will Calm Your Jitters

Navy.

No, red.

Navy.

Red!

But, navy….

You frown as you hold the two dresses up to your body and squint at the mirror. Red is too dressy, right? What if he’s wearing something super casual and you look completely out of place? But navy is so… boring. You always wear navy. In fact, the day he asked you out, you were wearing navy. You sigh. Red it is — even though the navy does bring out your eyes…  Your phone buzzes –  it’s him.

“Hey, the booking’s under my name. See you in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes?! But you’re not even dressed! And your hair is still damp and frizzy, and vaguely resembles a peacock. Not to mention, you were supposed to leave the house approximately 19 minutes ago, but your eyeliner’s smudged.

You tug on the red dress as fast as you can and try to avoid sneaking glances at the mirror as you repeatedly tell yourself that being a nice person is more important than what you look like. After washing your hands twice to get rid of your sweaty palms, you’re ready to go — 22 minutes late and a bag load of nerves.

Sounds familiar, right? First dates are often viewed as nerve-wrecking and awks. We get this. Behind all the nervous giggles and sweaty hand-shakes are a myriad of endless worries that can stop you from having the best first date you deserve… so here are a few ways to conquer those first date jitters.

1. End the self doubt

This behaviour will not do you any good. Seriously. All the ‘what if he doesn’t think I’m cute’ or ‘what if we have nothing to talk about’ line of thought is going to accomplish is to give you a bad case of the sweaty palms (not good for shaking hands) and an already negative viewpoint about something you have no control over. Bottom line, these thoughts can easily put a damper on your night, because instead of enjoying yourself, you’ll be constantly conjuring up fake scenarios that probably exist only in your mind.

2. Have a tipple

Ok we’re not saying to get plastered or walk out the door tipsy, but a little glass of wine can go a long way in eradicating all those edgy pre-date feelings. Some wine or a shot of the fun stuff will help you relax and go on your date with a big smile and twinkling eyes, and you know your date won’t be minding that.

3. Get topical

Yes, this sound’s like hard work but the last thing you want is to be stuck in an awkward silence. Trust us, before your date, be sure to think up a couple of topics that you know you both can engage in. Topics like where you went to college, your career, and hobbies/interests are safe bets and are sure to allow you to learn more about the other person. And if it does hit that awkward silence point, never be afraid to crack a joke or ask another question. Got it?

4. You’re worth it

Somebody thought you were worth spending time on—whether that be your matchmaker, your friend who set you up, or the other person who agreed to go out with you. Even if the date doesn’t end up in marriage and kids, there was something about you that got you to this point. Someone believed in you, and you should believe in yourself. Everyone has something special to show, and you’re no different.

5. Your date is nervous too

Chances are your date is probably calming their own nerves. The million scenarios that ran through your head likely ran through your date’s head as well. This isn’t a job interview – it’s a date where two people are evaluating each other. It’s absolutely human to have nerves, so it should give you some peace to know your date is probably jittering, too.

By Jennifer Conway.

• advice
• Dating
• first date
• Relationships