Got An Unruly Party Goer? Here’s How to Cope

So far it’s been a great night, people are eating the canapes, the Prosecco’s chilled to perfection and everything is running smoothly except for that one wagon who’s picking fights, trashing your gaff and just generally rubbing people up the wrong way. Right so, how do you deal with the geebag without causing a scene and ruining everyone else’s night?

Distraction tactics

Drunks aren’t the smartest. If they’re getting a bit rowdy try and distract them with some witty banter. If they’re wasted they probably won’t be much of a conversationalist but confusing them with current affairs for a few minutes might just keep them occupied long enough to make them forget about that totally legit reason they had for beating your best friend’s boyfriend to a pulp. Pull them aside for a sec and engage in a little casual chit chat until the rage blows over.

Sneak attack

If they’re well past wasted, switch their drink to a non-alcoholic cocktail, water it down or just give them a mixer. While you’re at it, ply them with plenty of food and hope it will counteract the effects of ten beers and two whiskey chasers. On the plus side, getting them to munch down a few mini sausage rolls will give them something to do with their hands, other than knocking other people’s drinks over.

Slumber party

If there’s a spare room you can stuff them in until the booze has worn off then do it! They’ll probably be pretty reluctant to leave the place where the fun’s happening, but if you’re lucky, tiredness will kick in when they see a great big comfy bed and fluffy pillows. Pack them off to the spare room with a pint of water and a basin and – fingers crossed – they’ll emerge several hours later sober as a judge.

Helping hand

Eh, just who did they come here with anyway? Scope out who their pals are, because they’re probably more used to dealing with their drunk friend than you are. Make their messy pal their responsibility and quietly slope off back to your booze and nibbles. Not your problem.

Eviction notice

When all else fails, send their ass home. They probably won’t want to leave so instead of demanding that they immediately remove themselves, subtly suggest nabbing them a taxi. Say, ‘hey, can I call you a cab?’ If they decline, just fib and say you think the party’s wrapping up now. When the taxi arrives, see them off, lock your front door and get back to having a good old time of it.

• alcohol
• friendship