How To Deal With A Flaky Friend
It can be super hurtful when you're let down or stood up by a pal. But if you're besties with a flake, there is something you can do about it. Here's your four step plan...
We all have at least one flaky friend; the person who agrees to plans or even suggests them and then abandons ship last minute. Or, potentially worse, arrives to said plans and then halfway through leaves because they’ve agreed to meet up with somebody else. #Ugh. But if you have one of these people in your life, you don’t have to call off the friendship, there are a few ways to deal, without getting upset or confrontational. Phew!
Talk it out
A lot of the time, flaky people don’t even realise that their behaviour is irritating or even upsetting. Bring it up with them in a relaxed setting and tell them that you find it frustrating or hurtful. See if there’s anyway they can approach the situation differently. If they could be a bit more honest about their plans or ETA, maybe it wouldn’t be so painfully annoying for you.
Adjust your expectations
If you’ve already tried discussing things but nothing has changed, maybe it’s time to realise it’s not going to. When you lower your expectations, it’s less likely that you’ll be upset if you’re cancelled on last minute. When you make arrangements to meet your flaky friend, accept that the plans are loose and leave space to occupy yourself in other ways.
Don’t rely wholly on them
If you’re planning on having a big night out with your flaky friend, be aware that their intentions might be slightly different. Why not get a few other pals involved so you’re not left by yourself in an awkward situation? Of course, you can hang out with just the two of you but for the bigger occasions, try to muster up a few more friends to join.
Avoid waiting by yourself for them
In other words, don’t go sitting alone in a restaurant at a table for two. Be wary when it’s just the pair of you hanging out. Rather than meeting at the destination, agree to pick them up at their place or vice versa and make your way there together. If your friend has agreed to collect you first, don’t drop everything you’re doing until you know that they’ve arrived. This means you won’t be left waiting on the couch for 20 minutes wearing your coat, hat and gloves until they eventually get there. Sorted.