It’s Not You: 5 Possible Reasons Your Guy Can’t Get It Up

So he really did mean it when he said "it's not you, it's me."

Man and woman in bed

“It happens to every guy…it’s not a big deal!”

Find yourself uttering these words to your SO way more often than you’d like? Well, it turns out you’re not alone because one in four men under 40 are seeking help for erectile dysfunction.

Unfortunately, we always seem to jump to the conclusion that it must be something we’re doing or think that they’re just not into us the way they used to be but ladies it’s actually got nothing to do with you and chances are your fella is still as sexually attracted to you as ever.

Erectile dysfunction can have a variety of causes, some of them serious, so if you’re partner is having constant issues getting hard maybe give him a little nudge to make a visit to his GP.

Here are five of the most common causes of erectile dysfunction:


Is your beau taking prescribed or over the counter medication on a regular basis? Well, certain medications, such as anti-depressants or anti-histamines, can make it hard (pun not intended) for a man to achieve or maintain an erection, according to a study by Texas A&M University. The study explains that “while these drugs may treat a condition, they can also affect hormones, nerves, or blood circulation, which can all increase the risk of erectile dysfunction.”

Emotional distress

Has your partner been under pressure at work? Have you and your partner been arguing constantly? Emotional stress can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and guilt, which can all lead to a decreased libido.

Lifestyle choices

If your partner is making poor health decisions on a daily basis, it is likely to have an impact on his ability to perform. Men who are overweight, habitual smokers, alcoholics, or substance abusers are more prone to experiencing erectile dysfunction. So, why not encourage him to kick start a healthy lifestyle with you? You could start taking romantic walks and maybe even cook healthy meals together.

Physical Injury

Exercise is great ‘n’ all when completed with caution, but for guys it’s important for them to be especially aware of their lower half when exercising because if they damage down there it’s not only excruciatingly painful but it can effect their ability to get an erection too. Next crimbo you might want to buy him a protector cup (for your sake as well as his).

Medical conditions

Erectile dysfunction can also be a tell tale sign for an underlying medical condition, such as diabetes or heart disease. Chances are it’s probably not one of the above but just in case encourage your partner to get a check up with his GP.

Bottom line? His ability to get it up has nothing to do with you. Sit down, have a chat and try and get to the, er, root of the problem.


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