Sex And The Single Girl: We Find Out How Irish Girls Hook Up In 2016

Call us nosy (well, we are), but we never say no to the juicy details of someone’s hookup – heck, there’s nothing more fun than a girly gathering where the intimate goings-on are dissected over squeals and coffee. But how differently does the Millennial generation really do it? According a research project at San Diego State University, “Millennials hold the most permissive sexual attitudes of any generation, though they choose to have sex with fewer partners than Gen Xers did at the same age.”

The study shows that Millennials typically have an average of three sexual partners, while Xers (born between 1965 and 1980) have four, but the reason for Millennials having more liberal attitudes, yet fewer partners, is simple: HIV/AIDS, say the researchers.

So what are young, single Irish women getting up to in the sack? We asked six for their stories – all names have been changed.

Amy, 29

“He had a micropenis”

“We’d met at work – he worked in a different part of the office, and I really fancied him. Then finally on a work night out, we got talking. It was one of those really intense conversations where it was just all about me and him, so I knew we’d end up going home together.

“And we did.We pretty much headed straight for the bedroom, and I remember putting my hand down to grab him and it just… slid off. His penis was around the length of my index finger, and thin as well. Initially I was so surprised – he was a really tall guy, about 6’5 so y’know… you kind of expect everything to follow suit. He was the tallest guy I’d ever kissed – I was straining to reach up and kiss him and I’m not that short myself.

“But honestly? Once I got over the fact he had a small willy, it didn’t make a blind bit of difference. He was a good bit older than me and I guess, he’d been living with his micropenis all his life so he’d gotten used to it and was actually amazing in bed. Like he’d do all this stuff with his hips… circular motions… it was amazing. So the size didn’t matter at all.

“We only hooked up that one time – I’d definitely have been into seeing him again but shortly after that I saw him on the street holding hands with a woman, so I’ve a sneaking suspicion he was hiding not only a micropenis, but a girlfriend too!

“But all told, I feel really sorry for men that this is made into such a huge embarrassing deal for them when it makes no difference – I’ve slept with guys with big dicks who have literally no clue what to do with them.”

Lisa, 21

“My mate initiated a threesome”

“Myself and a college friend were out on a night out last year – total intentions on us to find a couple of guys to score – and I ended up kissing a guy and she didn’t, which she was pretty pissed off about.

“At the end of the night, we were hanging out outside the nightclub we’d been in and the guy I’d scored was totally angling to come back with us. I was very much like, ‘well she’s staying with me and there’s only one bed, so you’re on the couch, buddy’, but when we got back to my flat, it all went a bit differently…

“I came back out from the bathroom to find her stripped off and kissing him and then it just sort of went from there, and we all started messing about. Yeah, we were drunk, but not that drunk – and he was obviously thinking, ‘this is the best night of my life’. Me and her were kissing… me and him… her and him… and I’d kissed girls before, but only in the stupid way you do when you’re younger. I’d never done it like this, and it just felt really weird to me.

“Then when I started having sex with him, she rolled over and went to sleep, and at that point, it got weird. She’d checked out, I was having sex with him and the next day it was all so utterly awkward. He behaved like he’d won a gold medal for sex and me and her couldn’t look each other in the eye – to this day, we’ve never spoken about it.”

Cara, 32

“I’m into half night stands”

“I was in a long term relationship for years with a guy from home. We went to college together, and it was supposed to be the whole thing: we’d get married, have babies, bla de bla. But then, out of the blue – and seven years – he dumped me.

“I was in bits at first – I mean my whole life had been turned upside down – but after a while I picked myself up, got back into going out with my single girlfriends and really discovered a side of myself I didn’t know existed. Basically, I love sex, I love hooking up and shagging guys I don’t really know, and not being in a relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me.

“The half night stand thing all started really with this one guy I’d been chatting with online, and then when we met I just didn’t fancy him. But he’d cooked me dinner, we’d been flirting up a storm… and sex was totally on the menu. Nowadays, I’d just leave, but back then I basically did it to get it over with.

“Right after we had sex that time, I got up and left, and it sort of flipped a switch – I never stay over now. I go out, meet a guy, go back to his for the ride and then I leave. If he comes back to mine, I make it really clear that it’s just about sex and I don’t want him hanging about afterwards.

Basically, I just don’t want to get into a relationship at the moment, because I’m really enjoying being single. And if you leave and head home, you have a clearer head, there’s no lovely dovey stuff, no hugging and kissing. You can evaluate the guy objectively.”

Sarah, 26

“I do the ghosting”

“I know everyone thinks it’s just men who do this but I ghost guys all the time. Not if I’ve been seeing them for months or anything, but if we’ve been chatting on a dating site or app or whatever, and then I decide I’m just not into it, I ignore or block them and just don’t get back. Feck it!

Okay, sure, that’s the mild side of it, but I’ve been known to go completely silent after a date if I don’t think it’s gonna go anywhere. I know that seems cowardly, but look, life is just way too short to bother wasting time stringing people along and the other thing is, I don’t want to hurt some guy’s feelings telling him why he’s not doing it for me.

I do think I’m a bit of a coward, and it’s a lot easier to just not get back in touch and let things fizzle out, but seriously if you’ve only been out a couple of times, like, you’re not exactly married, are you? I have had a couple of guys being really persistent and calling, wanting to know the story… ugh, it can be really awkward, but it’s still a lot easier just doing the silent treatment than having an awkward chat, so I don’t think I’ll be changing my habits any time soon!”

Cassie, 28

“I hooked up with a guy off Twitter”

“My life is crazy busy and sometimes I just don’t have the headspace or the energy to go out, so I began DMing this guy I knew vaguely through my job, and to begin with it was all about work, and eventually it got flirty. Then it got very flirty.

“I can’t remember how the idea of actually hooking up came about. I think he suggested it to test my boundaries – and I called his bluff. So I suggested we meet up, and at this point, I’d never seen his picture bar a lo-res .jpg he’d sent me when I asked. We met at the pub at the end of my road, and he seemed nice enough, we clicked humour-wise, so I suggested we go to my house.

“We got down to sex and it was really good fun. It was kind of hot that it was sort of taboo, I guess. Once it was over we chatted a while and I suggested he ought to leave before my housemates came home, because that was going to be hard to explain. We carried on and saw each other quite a few times, on and off for about a year and a half. It was booty call stuff really, and then it sort of fizzled out.

“Now? Yeah, I’m totally into doing it again. A girl’s gotta scratch that itch!”

Siobhan, 25

“I caught an STI”

“I guess I hadn’t really thought much about STIs – I know, I know, it sounds really clueless of me, but I was more worried about getting pregnant, so I was taking the pill and I reckoned, job done. Lads just don’t like using condoms, do they? Well, that’s what they try to tell you and I was enough of an eejit to go along with it… and then I got a phone call from this guy I’d been sort of seeing on and off for a while…

“He’d just found out he had gonorrhea and he had to ring up everyone he’d had unprotected sex with to tell them, in case they’d caught it too. I actually nearly died of shock, I was so mad, and upset, and then I had to go for the world’s most mortifying trip to the GUM clinic – I made my best friend come with me and she practically wore a sign saying ‘I’m with stupid’ – where yep, I found out I had it too, as well as chlamydia. They were nice in the clinic, but they’re totally no nonsense, and you feel so dirty…

“So then I had to call the fellas I’d had unprotected sex with, which was horrific; just so embarrassing, and I felt like a total slag. But at least it was curable – all I had to do was take a course of antibiotics and just basically cop on. And it did make me cop on, it was a real wake up call for me. I might never have known I had either STI unless that guy had called, and chlamydia can really affect your fertility.

“Sure, I still have casual sex, but now I always, always carry condoms and if he doesn’t want to use one, then he’s not getting laid, end of.”

This article first appeared in March issue of STELLAR. Our October issue is out now!

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• love
• Sex