Should You Keep Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Give You Butterflies? Here’s Your Answer…

They're dependable and trustworthy but they don't give you that fluttery feeling. An expert weighs in on this common dating dilemma.

couple kissing

Here’s the scenario: you’ve been seeing his guy for a little while. He’s cute, but not in a I-Need-To-Rip-His-Clothes-Off-Right-Now kinda way. He’s pretty sound too; the two of you can hold a conversation after all, but here’s the thing: there’s just no spark. Chemistry? Yeah, you haven’t got it.

So what should you do? Stick with this safe, dependable and perfectly lovely guy or end things and hope that you’ll meet someone who you really, truly click with?

Well, dating expert Ramani Durvasula has the answer. Her opinion? Butterflies aren’t really that important, and being free of that ‘fluttery’ feeling during the early stages of dating can in fact be a good thing.

Why so? Apparently without it we’re more likely to be ourselves and feel more open to meeting a partner who is outside of our usual ideals.

Speaking to Women’s Health she says “I’m not convinced it is a bad strategy, especially if women are experiencing ‘dating fatigue’ and are just looking for someone they can be themselves with.”

She also warns that your immediate reaction shouldn’t be to run just because you aren’t experiencing a spark. “Give it time and let it breathe – some qualities take time to cultivate,” she explains. “If it develops into something platonic or the sex or intimacy isn’t working, then perhaps you just get a good friend out of it.”

What do you think? Do you need to have butterflies to have a good relationship?


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