Why, What And How? Let’s Talk Squirting

“And then, I squirted. The bedsheets were soaking.” A friend is recounting her most recent sexual escapade to use over brunch. She’s both simultaneously delighted and mortified that she left a wet patch on her boyfriend’s bedsheets – and more than a little perplexed about how and why she squirted in the first place. She has so many questions and the rest of us are at a loss to fill her in.

See, squirting, or female ejaculation if you want the technical term, is a bit of a taboo subject and it’s shrouded in mystery. While it’s enjoyed a surge in popularity thanks to its prevalence in porn, it’s still not something many of us talk about openly. An incognito Google search might not turn up anything particularly concrete either because truth be told for the most part squirting is a bit of a puzzle. So what is it? Why does it happen? And can everyone do it? Let’s get the facts, shall we?

Why does it happen?

Put simply, squirting is the gushing of fluid some women experience during sex, usually at the point of orgasm. No one is certain what the fluid is, but it’s expelled from the urethra (not the vagina) and is often a result of G-spot stimulation or extreme arousal. It’s been suggested that feeling insanely food isn’t squirting’s only benefit: some experts reckon that ejaculatory fluid could also flush out harmful bacteria, helping to reduce your risk of nasty UTIs, but the truth is nobody really knows why it happens just that it does and it feels hood, and sure isn’t that enough?

What does it feel like?

Some women described it as a kind of letting gom during an intense orgasm. Similar to a dam bursting. While others say it’s simultaneously feeling like you have to pee and orgasm. While many women say they were actively trying to squirt, most admit that the first time it happened for them was by accident, when there were at their most relaxed – and it often a complete surprise. RIP their top sheets.

So, uh, what actually is squirting?

Now to answer the question that’s on the tip of your tongue: uh, isn’t it just wee? Well, that’s open to debate. As with a lot of things female, there isn’t a whole lot of research into the matter, Squirting is still a relatively new subject, scientifically speaking. Still, some experts assert that the fluid probably originates from the bladder. In a 2014 study, women were asked to go to the loo before sex and to take an ultrasound, proving their bladders were empty. Once they were sexually excited a second ultrasound showed that their bladders had refilled slightly. And after sex, a third scan discovered that their bladders had emptied again after squirting.

Right, so it’s deffo wee then? Oh, if only it were that simple.

Further research conducted in the 1980s found that the expelled fluids post-squirt only contained very low levels of urea and creatine (found in urine) and detected other substances which you wouldn’t expect to find in pee. One of those was prostate-specific antigen, or PSA. In men, it’s produced by the prostate, and women’s bodies have prostate tissue too. This tissue is found in the front wall of the vagina in the Skene’s glands and it’s suggested that these glands drain via ducts into the lower end of the urethra. The hypothesis is that the liquid that’s let loose during squirting is actually formed in these glands. Add to that most women say that their ejaculate is colourless, not yellow like pee.

But wait, just to make the whole concept even more complicated, it’s also claimed that there are in fact two different types of female ejaculate: the more clear and voluminous liquid associated with squirting, and female ejaculate, a milkier, thicker substance similar to male ejaculate and more often associated with orgasm, so we’ll let you draw your own conclusions on this one.

I’ve never squirted. Am I doing it wrong?

Recent estimates say that anywhere from 10 to 50 percent of women have experienced squirting, so if you’re yet to join the club then you certainly aren’t alone. Don’t panic if all this feels like yet another performance hoop you have to jump through. Your ability to squirt hasn’t anything to do with your sexual skillset, it’s actually more likely down to anatomical difference (if ‘squirt’ does in fact come from female prostate tissue, the size of these glands may explain why some women can do it easily and others can not).

Your inability to squirt could even be because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to do it. Stress is not conducive to a bed soaking orgasm, my friend.

I want to do it, but how?

If you really want to give it a go, there are several ways you can go about it, most of them what hingeing on G-spot stimulation. It’s up to you how you want to go about this. If you’re going solo, grab a vibrator that has a curved tip designed to hit that sweet spot, or if you’d rather take the hands-on approach, you’re best using your fingers in a come hither motion on the G-spot until it feels like you need to physically let go. Having trouble finding it? It’s located on the front wall of your vagina about 5-8 cms up and has a ridged texture. The key is to move over those ridges, and as you do the tissue will become hard and easier to feel.

If you’re with a partner, try multi-stimulation. You’ll double your chances if you combine both clitoral and G-spot stimulation and you might find it easier if you throw a vibrator into the mix too. There’s no hard and fast rule about what positions work best, but some people have an easier time with fingers. Cowgirl can be a dead cert too, but really it all depends on what positions turn you on the most, so opt for what really gets you going. Finally, don’t freak out if you get the sudden sensation of needing to pee – that’s where the magic happens.

Can’t quite master it no matter how hard you try? There’s a misconception that squirting is a superior type of orgasm, but G-spot stimulation isn’t comfortable or pleasurable for a lot of people. Our advice? Don’t go chasing waterfalls. If you can’t do it, you shouldn’t force it.

Tags:

• real talk
• Sex
• squirting