Aliens, Poosh Drama And Caitlyn Needs Kris – A Recap On KUWTK’s Final Season – Episode 5

This week’s episode opens with Kylie dropping by the Malibu beach house/mansion where she has clearly never slept a night. She has little Stormi with her who is so cute it almost hurts. She then proceeds to show Kim how she has “customised” her incredibly expensive Rolls Royce by making the entire inside a Pepto Bismol coloured pink. I was watching this near my husband, and I hoped to God he wouldn’t look up from his work at this point because he may have cried. I’m glad she likes it, but she’s made a hames of one of the most luxurious cars on planet earth. Sigh.

As usual, there are three arcs to this week’s story. Arc number one – Kris wants some help from her girls. She needs advice, because Caitlyn’s friend has reached out to her and told her that Caitlyn is struggling in lockdown with work. The friend wants to know if Kris will help. Kris wisely doesn’t involve Khloe in this discussion because she knows Khloe would be all like THE NECKKKK OF HER asking you for help after all the shit she’s talked about you. That’s how I feel, anyway. Kim sees it as a potential healing moment for her mom, who decides to think on it.

 

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Arc two – a very old school Kardashian storyline, in which Khloe enlists Tristan’s help to search for extra-terrestrials in Malibu. Sheesh. Look, we know Tristan is on the payroll and in her life and they have to make use of him, but gormless is the word to describe this chap. Still, he’s enthusiastic to help his missus when the others are not.

Khloe looks so vastly different to how she used to, but it’s at times like these we’re reminded that she’s still the same old loveable goofball. At one point she’s wearing a silver, iridescent unitard and fur coat and I just have to continue to stan. If Tristan makes her happy, so be it.

 

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And the final arc revolves around Kourtney. A very large part of me wishes she made good on her promise last season to film less, because she’s still a full time character and her storylines are bullshit. This week, she’s struggling with her website Poosh (major eyeroll from moi) because she’s hired her old friends to help her run it and they’re irritating her by being disrespectful. I have two trains of thought here – one, Kourtney is the boss and paying them all, and they should be completely respectful and professional. Two, she is clearly a terrible boss that gets in a huff over nothing. Later, she’ll tell them all that she can’t deal with the minutiae of their issues, and they’ll deal with assistants on everything but big picture stuff.

I’m sorry, but this just makes me irate. She has more staff than STELLAR does, and none of them seem to do… anything. SIGH AGAIN.

 

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Side note – I am very jealous of the Malibu gaff, and the facts that they can all hang out there with their friends and family and dogs. Every now and then someone mentions that they’ve all had covid tests, but it still feels alien seeing them all just chilling in a gang – which includes Addison Rae yet again, who this week is described as a Dancer in the captions.

Speaking of aliens, Khloe and Tristan stay up all night in an attempt to see some. Khloe swears she does, but doesn’t capture it on her phone in time. Nobody wants to point out to her that the E! cameras caught some random lights in the sky.

Kris decides to help her ex-spouse Caitlyn because she wants to share her business savvy. She suggest Caitlyn starts a YouTube channel, both for something to do and as a revenue stream. Kris is a bigger woman than I; I remember everything bad Caitlyn said about her during her transition announcement and in her autobiography. I would have told her to go and shite if I was Kris. Not only does Caitlyn take her advice, but she uses one of Kris’ pasta recipes in her first video. THIRD SIGH.

This episode felt pretty nothing-y. Nothing about Kim’s imploding marriage at all, and no chat about the kids or Kanye. North shows up once and makes a show of her ma as usual. It feels very much like they’re setting everything up for their future – we’re made aware that Scott is still flipping houses, they’re all wearing one another’s merch. At one point Khloe has a “Kim is my lawyer” hoodie on, which I obviously need. Everyone’s hair and makeup is immaculate, which markets their own cosmetics for them.

Next week, we’re promised more Kourtney and Scott – BIGGEST SIGH EVER. But look, I’ll still tune in. I’m as hooked as ever.

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• keeping up with the kardashians
• kuwtk