Does Tween Culture Just Not Exist Anymore?

Do you remember that transition of becoming a tween? Those years you stopped playing with Barbies and started getting interested in boybands, teen magazines, clothes and makeup. Not a girl, not yet a woman, as Britney would say. Back when most of us were growing up we had spaces in the world to spread our wings. We had websites (Stardoll, I’ll always miss you). We had stations like Disney Channel and of course magazines that focused on teen issues (KISS magazine, you will always be famous).

There seems to be quite a shift lately, however. Skincare company Drunk Elephant is the it-brand among kids. Tweens and young teenagers (or their parents) are forking out €100 in skincare and putting acids and retinol on their faces! They’re on TikTok hearing influencers talking about ‘Legging Legs’ (another word for thinness) or if you have high or low visual weight (no, I don’t know what this is either!).

They don’t have teen celebrities. Where is the 2020s’ One Direction or Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus? With this absence, 10-year-olds are crushing on 30-year-old Harry Styles, but do they really need to hear Harry Styles singing “you pop when we get intimate”?

It’s been plaguing me for a while – where has tween culture gone? Is there a space for young girls and boys to go? And are there celebrities for them to look up that aren’t TikTokers trying to sell them something? Hell, even YA novels are now being marketed towards adults rather than, well, young adults. It just seems like we’ve pushed children out of their spaces and then get mad when they are in adult spaces.

Dr. Emma Bagnall, The Mothering Psychologist, explains: “There has been a significant evolution in the spaces and platforms catering to tweens and teens over the years. This change reflects not only the dynamic nature of youth culture but also the advancements in technology and the shifting landscape of media and social interaction.” She specifies that they have moved to more online spaces and she admits that it’s a “double-edged sword”.

“On one hand, it offers unprecedented access to information and social connection while on the other hand, it also raises concerns about screen time, exposure to inappropriate content, and the impact on mental health. Tweens and teens are spending more time indoors on screens instead of outdoors, they are almost always switched on or engaged with the digital world through their smartphones and devices and they may have limited opportunities to escape spaces where they are feeling intimidated or bullied. The distinction between spaces for tweens and spaces for adolescents or adults is almost non-existent in the online world, and especially on social media unless carefully monitored and managed by parents. Without age-specific spaces online, tweens may be exposed to content and social dynamics that they are not developmentally prepared to handle.”

She adds that she is particularly concerned about graphic content online. “I am conscious of the potential for exposure to graphic content related to war and terrorism which can be associated with vicarious trauma. This has the potential to negatively impact their emotional well-being and understanding of social norms.” With no spaces specifically for them, it looks like kids are growing up a lot more quickly than just one generation previous. But has Dr. Emma seen this in her work with children?

Well, yes and no. She shares that children are just developing differently. That doesn’t mean that they’re not maturing at the normal pace. They’re not particularly growing up too quickly, it’s just the world has changed quickly. So like everyone and everything else they have to adapt to our changing world. And yes, it might look a bit different to us. “It’s essential to recognise that growing up in today’s world also means children are developing differently, acquiring skills and knowledge that are pertinent to the 21st century. They are learning to navigate the digital landscape, developing new forms of literacy, and gaining access to diverse perspectives and knowledge bases far beyond what was available to previous generations. And so we have to ask the question, are they growing up too quickly or are they grow up differently, adapting to the demands and opportunities of their time.”

She goes on to say: “Children are also showing remarkable resilience and adaptability. They are activists, thinkers and creators, using digital platforms to voice their opinions, advocate for change, and connect with global communities. This level of engagement and awareness can be seen as a positive aspect of their accelerated maturity, reflecting not a loss of childhood but an adaptation to the world they inhabit. Beyond doubt we have come a long way since the era of ‘children should be seen and not heard’.”

It doesn’t look like there’ll be an uptake in teen boybands anytime soon. Or the return of shows like Hannah Montana or Lizzie Maguire. Instead, children will find idols to look up to that are very different. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to dance to Harry Styles or make friendship bracelets to go see Taylor Swift. “As children grow, their cognitive, emotional, and social capacities expand and these are influenced by both inherent developmental stages and the environment in which the child is growing,” Dr Emma explains.

“Children maturing in this modern world we live in brings unique challenges that while different to previous generations, are in fact the reality of growing up in a digital world. Rather than wasting energy pushing back, it can be far more helpful to focus on adapting parenting strategies to meet contemporary challenges while reinforcing timeless values of connection, curiosity, and resilience to empower children to grow.”

Sure celebrities and peers and pop culture is important for a child’s development. But the most important thing for them is a strong foundation and homelife. “Children thrive when they feel secure and loved unconditionally. Establishing a strong, supportive relationship is foundational,” Dr Emma explains.

“A secure attachment lays the groundwork for healthy emotional development and builds the confidence children need to explore and engage with the world around them, in the knowing that they can return to their parents when they feel unsure or uncertain. I encourage parents to foster an environment where open, honest communication is valued. Listen actively to your children’s thoughts and feelings without judgement because this encourages them to share their experiences and to turn to you for support, guidance, and reassurance rather than potentially falling victim to misinformation and peer pressure.”

So the next time you see a kid buying makeup products that might not be for them or engaging in content that you personally don’t see as suitable, remember that you were a tween once too. And all you wanted to do was be a grown-up. While this might manifest differently for our little Gen Alphas, they’re really not that different to any of us at that age. 

This article first appeared in the March/April issue of STELLAR magazine