Birthdays And Bad News – A Recap On KUWTK’s Final Season – Episode 10

OK, I’m a little in my feelings this week. This was my favourite episode of this season yet, and as I write, I’m fresh from watching the Friends reunion so I’m emoshe. Isn’t life wonderful?! And television its greatest gift. Ahem. Right, I’ll pull myself together.

This is a very Kim-centric episode which actually makes me really happy. We’ve suffered through boring Kourtney stuff and cringey Tristan and Khloe storylines enough – Kim is why we first came to this show and she’s the glue that’s held it together. There’s a reason Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami just didn’t hit the same way, okay?

First up, she’s planning her big secret 40th birthday trip. She took a lot of shit for it at the time because her insta post announcing it was totally tone deaf, but do you know what? If I was a billionaire with the means to take all my friends to a desert island for a safe trip, I’d do it too. She wasn’t hurting anyone. Jonathan pops up (or do we all have to call him Foodgod?) just to remind us all that he is the very essence of tone deaf because he finds the term “kerbside collection” offensive. Even Kim looks perplexed as he rants. If KK thinks you’re out of touch with reality, dude….

 

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Kim shares that it’s not just her birthday month, but also her mom’s 65th, Kendall’s 25th and also Caitlyn and Corey’s. She is planning the most amazing present for her mam who hasn’t been feeling herself of late. She’s going to buy, style and tailor SIXTY FIVE designer rig outs for Kris’ exact specifications. The absolute dream.

We also learn that Kim has failed the baby bar, which is a massive test you take on the way to taking the actual bar and qualifying as a lawyer. We’ve seen her take it initially and is it a helluva lot of work. She’s not sure she can do it again so quickly, especially with everything else she has going on now they’re not in lockdown. She feels like a total failure and the whole thing makes her want to give up law school. When I imagine the pressure she’s under, I get anxious. Imagine not only wanting to do something difficult for yourself, but for your whole family, and with the whole world watching and a sizeable portion of them just gleefully waiting for you to eff up? Ugh!

 

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Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are discussing birthday gifts which gives us a tiny subplot this week – Kourtney has been told that Kendall returned the Hermes crockery she painstakingly selected for her last birthday. So she has an evil plan to just keep regifting them to her. I never knew I need Hermes dishes until this moment. They have horsies on them!

There are times I’m just utterly struck by Kim’s beauty. She’s driving along with Khloe and I’m just swooning at her flawless face. Designed by genetics, honed by aestheticians – perfect. Anyway, as she’s driving around, she’s looking for signs from her dad about whether or not to keep up her law degree. It reminds me of when I’m worried about something and I notice every lone magpie I see. Sometimes they follow me, guys.

It turns out that Kendall didn’t return the plates, so that’s a very quick subplot defused. Thrilling.

Next, some self-shot highlights of the island trip. It looks like my own group holidays to Tenerife on CRACK. Incredible. Then we get to her present from Kanye. The hologram!!!!!! I’ve never lost a parent TG, but this freaks me the fudge out. How did he think it was okay?????? To put words in a dead man’s mouth. To me it felt manipulative. But… she loved it. They’re all weeping and want to watch it again. Okay?

 

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Kim’s 65 outfits presentation is amazing. We get our first shot of Kanye all season as he’s fussing around and remerchandising the mannequin display. Micromanaging always! Kris is so overcome, she’s crying before she even knows what’s going down. She looks really beautiful – 65 with a 40 year-old fella, an INSANE career she created all by herself and a family that adores her. She’s iconic, walking around with a massive glass of white wine and screaming about the clothes. I don’t blame her – if I walked in to a room and knew everything there was designed to fit and suit me, I’d lose my shit too. Man, I hate shopping these days.

She says it’s the best fashion show she’s ever seen before clocking Kanye, and goes “BESIDES YEEZY!”. Howling!

We get a glimpse of Caitlyn’s birthday and all the sisters celebrating together, and a rare sighting of a blonde Kylie who has been MIA all season.

Poor Kimmy is getting set to take the baby bar again because Hologram Dad (Kanye) told her too when she finds out Saint has covid, which she then of course gets. But she’s not giving up! The essence of Kimberly Noel Kardashian is that she is a trooper, and doing a seven hour exam with no pee breaks with a deadly virus that causes brain fog is no bother to her. She says she’d be amazed if she passed, but she’s glad she did it. LEGEND. We could all do with an ounce of this gal’s tenacity.

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