How to talk to a woman wearing headphones? Er, DON'T.
Headphones. Great for listening to music on the go, and equally great for politely letting the world know you’re not in the mood to chat.
Spotted someone you kinda-sorta know on the bus and have no interest in making small talk with? Pop in those headphones and you’re golden. Passing a Charity Chugger Black Spot on O’Connell St? Again, headphones are your saving grace.
Those little earbuds are perfect for blocking out the world, which is why one male dating “expert” is coming under fire today for his article about how to approach a woman wearing headphones to ask her on a date.
According to Modern Man writer Dan Bacon, “if a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will almost always be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.”
Oh is that SO, Dan? These people wouldn’t agree:
How to talk to a woman who is wearing headphones:
B) Move on with your life
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) August 30, 2016
How to talk to a woman wearing headphones
1. Walk over
2. Keep walking
3. Into the sea
4. Yes into the sea for you, goodbye.
— Sarah Jones (@SarahJonesVent) August 30, 2016
The article continues with a supposed script for what *might* go down between the now headphone-less woman and the (frankly creepy) man who’s just approached her.
You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner] Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s a cutie, I have to say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?
Woman: [Usually flattered by the compliment and impressed by your confidence to approach her like that] Jessica.
You: [Add in some humor] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica. I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.
Woman: [Most likely laughing, smiling and enjoying the interaction].
One great thing that has come from the questionable advice though, is the #HowToTalkToAWomanWho hashtag, which is currently trending on Twitter.
There are some other potential scenarios:
#HowToTalkToAWomanWho wonders why you’re in her garden at 3am.
1. Smiles + gestures
2. Explain Dan Bacon suggested this
3. Laugh together
— Jason Arnopp (@JasonArnopp) August 30, 2016
#HowToTalkToAWomanWho is asking you to let go of her leg, while dialling the emergency services.
— Zan Phee (@zanPHEE) August 30, 2016
#HowToTalkToAWomanWho is wearing headphones but her playlist is just the sound of men being shushed by annoyed women.
— Amy The Great (@AmyJoRyan) August 30, 2016
And some sheer comedic brilliance:
#HowToTalkToAWomanWho is not actually a woman at all, but a lizard person in disguise
— Tracy Benson (@NukuNukuDash) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman Who Is Mainly Bees
— Orbette (@orbette) August 30, 2016
Dan Bacon must be very, very confused right now.