What We Learned From Season 9 Of Made In Chelsea

Whether or not you watch Made in Chelsea, you'll want to take these pearls of wisdom on board – and carry them with you always.

It’s been a season of ups and downs… oh, wait. True to form, season 9 of Made in Chelsea has been a season of not very much at all. Plot may have been thin on the ground, but with characters as entertaining as these, it doesn’t even matter. Here’s the take-home from the season.

Never come between a girl and her fella

Stephanie Pratt Lucy Watson Josh Made in Chelsea

At least not when that girl is Stephanie Pratt and her fella is Josh What’s-His-Face. For poor Lucy Watson, all of that eye-rolling led to a very public showdown with ex-BFF Steph and moany Josh (who clearly has some form of OCD about his apartment) about just what IS your problem, Lucy? “You clearly have a problem – you’re so rude!” Wake up, Steph; that’s just Lucy’s personality (and we <3 it – take-no-prisoners peeps are our faves).

Some cheaters can reform

Nicola Hughes Alex Mytton Made in Chelsea

Just look at Alex Mytton, who’s recovered from his disastrous relationship with Binky Felstead and come good by courting our very own Nicola Hughes. Though we left them as the curtain went down on season 9 in precarious straits, we have faith that things will come good for these two lovebirds.

And some… eh, cannot

Spencer Lauren Made in Chelsea

Spencer Matthews was back to his old tricks, cheating on poor Lauren, who he loves “more than anyone I’ve ever loved.” Spencer Matthews, for the record, is 25 years old (and, weirdly, only 5ft 9in – we dunno why, but we’d imagined him taller). Does this mean Spencer has a 100% cheating record? Lucy, Louise, Stephanie, Lauren… are we missing anyone?

Printed leggings = not just for girls

Alex Mytton rocked out in a pair of printed meggings not once but twice in this series of Made in Chelsea. Okay, so one time he had an excuse – they were at a festival that the cast was clearly using as an excuse to dress up as a motley crew of escaped inmates – but another, going to meet Nicola for drinks on a barge before confessing his love, he did not.

There are two important factors when house buying

Mark-Francis Made in Chelsea

Postcode and ceiling height. That’s according to Mark-Francis Vandelli, who has consistently been the wisest and most entertaining Made in Chelsea cast member since season one. Although, we couldn’t help but wonder: what is he even still doing with this gang of miscreants?

Everything looks better in sepia

This series of Made in Chelsea appeared to be filmed with an incredible rose-tinted filter, rendering everything softer, visually more appealing and less jarring to the senses. Skin was perfectly clear, cheeks were glowing, eyes were soft and welcoming. Why, it almost looked quite nice.

Alex Mytton has a massive willy

Alex Mytton willy

Okay, so we didn’t learn that from the show exactly, but from naughty Nicola’s Instagram. *said in Jurassic Park warden voice* Clever girl.

It is possible to go to a music festival and not get dirty

The final episode saw the gang – even Mark-Francis, although smart Victoria managed to steer clear – decamp to some form of paradise festival in the middle of nowhere, without mud, Portaloos or screaming yobs. It looked a little like a family picnic of yore – if the family in question is exceptionally rich, drinks only Champagne and doesn’t bring children on day trips.

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