Ask James: ‘My Housemates Hate My Tea. Can You Share Your Tea-Making Tips?’

James Kavanagh answers your questions like only a gas bitch can.

I hate giving oral sex to my boyfriend who, annoyingly for me, loves blow jobs. I’m of the mindset that if you don’t offer your partner sex on tap they’ll stray. What do I do? Jessie, Limerick

I think sex, when in a relationship, is all about compromise. You’ll always have different interests, but it’s about finding common ground and communication is KEY. Be open about what you like and don’t like. Write down all the things you love to do, and each time you’re getting jiggy, suggest one of the non-blow job activities.

Have you thought about toys? Oily massages? Watching porn together (lots of inspo), Threesomes? Fivesomes? Tellin’ you, when you actually sit down and think about it, there’s a whole world of sexual fun outside of a BJ and a quickie in the missionary position.

I share a house with four others and when it comes around to my turn to make the tea I always end up disappointing everyone. I’ve heard you make great tea. Any tips? Evelyn, Dublin

You’ve come to the right place, oh lost one. If you’re making tea in a pot (which I’d recommend for more than 3 people) make sure you scald the pot before putting the teabags and the rest of the water in. Leave to brew for 2.5 to 3 minutes, stirring once (but not squeezing) at the halfway mark. If someone asks for their tea weak, ask them to kindly leave.

If you’re making in cups, the same rules as the pot apply; scalding, brewing time and always use fresh water when boiling the kettle. I like to leave my teabag in the cup while drinking my tea, but if you don’t, gently lift it out and dispose. Squeezing it will release the tannins which makes it taste bitter. After the tea is brewed it’s of course up to everyone to embellish with milk and sugar to their personal taste. But if someone asks for very milky tea, ask them to also kindly leave.

I’m a French teacher in a secondary school and our new science teacher is unbelievably hot. I can’t see a ring on his hand either, so I’m thinking (hoping) he’s single. Any advice on how I can strike something up between us? Kate, Dublin

If you sense that the two of you are getting on well, I think you should be gas and pun-tastic with him in the staffroom when you cross paths. Be like “Bonjour, babes! I sense a bit of chemistry between us, eh, eh?!” Then maybe throw in the French Lady Marmalade lyrics if he’s feeling the vibe. He’ll either love how cute‘n’funny you’re being and fall madly in love – or just avoid you like the plague. But it’s a risk I think you should take.


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