Real Talk 17th October 2019 by Stellar Magazine

Ask James: ‘This Guy At Work Keeps Sending Me Sexy Pics. How Do I Get Him To Stop?’

James Kavanagh answers your questions like only a gas bitch can.

I’m self-employed in the beauty industry and am just about to launch a new product. I need someone to help manage the launch, so a close friend of mine (just out of a job) has asked could she do it. The whole project is probably going to take six months. I’m not sure I want her help as I know she can be difficult to work with (I’ve heard stories). How do I let a close friend know I don’t want to hire them? Anon, Cork

The ‘not mixing business with pleasure’ saying can be very true sometimes. I’ve heard of friendships crash and burn because they’ve gone into business together. On the other hand, some can work well – but to my knowledge that can be a rare exception. I’m a huge fan of trusting your gut when it comes to most decisions in life, and if you’re having weird feelings about it now, it’s time to jump ship on that idea. Tell her you value your friendship too much to possibly have it jeopardised by becoming her boss. Honesty is key!

I want to tone up and get a body/mindset I’m happy with. I’m mainly searching for energy to be honest – not looking to drastically change anything. What steps do I take? Sarah, Dublin

I’m on the same path as you right now! I do not have the energy levels I would like to have at all, nor do I have the body I want; I’ve pretty much had the same one since I was 19. I want to be a bit more of a beefy bitch. Start looking at what you’re eating and increasing food types that are energy-givers. Start going for evening jogs (I personally find these great energy-givers). See a nutritionist and perhaps get an eating plan. If you can afford it, look into seeing a PT once or twice a week. I think if these are going to become long-term changes then it’s ALL about baby steps at the start.

A guy at work keeps Insta-chatting me sexy pics of himself which I’ve politely asked him not to do. It keeps happening. How do I put an end to this without block him (which I feel would be awkward as he sits a few rows from me). Rachel, Dublin

Without being dramatic, this is literally sexual harassment. If you’ve said stop, then he should stop. If you’re feeling charitable, tell him one more time that if he doesn’t stop you’ll take it to HR. Or send him that clip from Mean Girls of Regina George throwing the flyers all over the school corridor and be like “This will be me throwing screengrabs of your pics all over the canteen if you don’t stop being an unsolicited mess”. He’ll soon get the message. Then once he stops, block his weirdo ass.

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