TikTok Thinks I’m In A Delusionship, And Yeah, Fair

Not wrong.

via Ron Lach / Pexels

Have you ever daydreamed that you were in love with someone? And they were in love with you? And you were both obsessed with each other and are never going to split up even though you’ve probably had a max of three conversations together?

Congratulations, you’re in a delusionship.

A delusionship is a relationship that doesn’t exist… except in your head. It’s an experience that hasn’t happened, in real life. It’s a romance that isn’t a thing, except it is (to you).

A delusionship is characterised by crumbs. The kind that are left by an interaction that has had more meaning attributed to it than ever deemed necessary. It’s not completely outside of the realm of possibility, and that’s what makes it linger. It’s backed up by friends, because they enjoy taking that delusion-ridden journey with you. It’s never going to happen… but it still might.

Like most trends these days vaguely related to dating and/or relationships, the concept of a delusionship is fairly big on TikTok.

Search the tag and you’ll be met with a ream of content detailing users’ inability to get over their delusionship, their unwillingness to focus on realistic relationship goals in favour of their delusionship, and their belief that their delusionship viewing their Story within the first 30 minutes of posting means they’re deeply in love with them too.

Spoilers: it doesn’t, but a girl can dream, right?

@redformandumbazz Me 🤝 no commitments #delusionship ♬ original sound – user11750148531

Delusionships are relatively harmless. It’s the adult equivalent of playing pretend, creating scenarios in the comfort of your own head and getting excited at the possibility of them one day happening.

Some women on TikTok joke that their relationship with their delusionship is stopping them from paying attention to actual people who might want to date them. They’re putting all of their eggs in a basket that doesn’t exist, and they’re – for the most part – fine with that.

But then there’s the darker side of the delusionship – the potential for increased admiration and infatuation that’s so intense (and so unworthy) that you place this person high upon a pedestal.

They become a God-like figure, they’re perfect. They could do no wrong. They’re the ideal and no one else could ever measure up… Except they could, because other people are real, and this person is not.

It’s common to idolise romantic partners, and probably even more common to do it when you’re in a delusionship. In real life, we constantly give each other reasons to remind one another that we’re human, we’re flawed.

But when a relationship exits wholly in your head, it’s easier to create a vision of them as perfect, incapable of doing wrong, and the only person worthy of your attention. You’re the one controlling their behaviour, after all.

Delusionships are fun. They’re a handy way to pass the time, a hypothetical situation to chat about with your pals, something to do when you’re bored.

Just don’t let them take over your life. Too much.


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