Real Talk 28th April 2016 by Paula Lyne
‘What Just Happened?!’ 7 Awkward Things You’ve Definitely Laughed At During Sex
Immature, you? Never.
Let’s face it, sex is usually far from graceful.
We have bodies, they make noises, we’re clumsy… it’s a recipe for disaster. Behold, seven things we’ve all laughed about in bed…
1. The trying-to-get-skinny-jeans-and-socks-off dance
If anyone out there knows a way to take off high-waisted skinny jeans without looking like they’re a scuba diver pulling their wetsuit off, we need to know about it.
2. That unfortunate queef
Happens to the best of us. IT’S JUST AIR ESCAPING, OKAY?!
3. When changing positions doesn’t quite go to plan
‘No I said move your hips UP. UP! Oh, it doesn’t matter.’
4. The shower session that was NOT as sexy as they make it look in films
Water, a slippy bath and a slightly drunk you does not a night of passion make.
5. Yelping in pain after your hair gets caught under his arm/under a pillow
Nothing says sexy like roaring ‘OW!’ out of the blue.
6. When you get your words mixed up while trying to talk dirty
‘Eh, what did you just say?’
7. Your phone ringing/your alarm going off
Nothing puts a dampener on morning sex like an iPhone’s Sencha alarm tone, we can tell you.