Love & Sex 14th December 2020 by Stellar Magazine

Ask James: ‘I’ve Liked Guys All My Life, But Just Fell For An Amazing Girl. What Is Happening?!’

James Kavanagh answers your questions as only a gas bitch can.

I’m going out with a guy now about a year and his brother is his best friend. They do everything together and the brother is always there. The problem: I hate his brother. He says really annoying/bad things, is too over-familiar, always wants to be entertained by us. How do I get rid?! Joanne, Cork

I’ve seen relationships crash and burn because one of the people starts to criticise friends/family that have been in the other person’s lives way longer than they have. So do navigate these waters carefully – you don’t want to cause an unnecessary storm. You also have to remember you’re the newbie here, and to respect the long-termers.

That said, you have every right to suggest hang-out times where it’s just the two of you. And you can totally say it without being like “Your bro is a violent melt, can it just be the two of us tonight?” Give the “Let’s have date night where it’s just us two tonight!” route a go and see what happens.

I think my co-worker hates me… I don’t know why though. We work very closely, so I’m not sure how to handle this. Emily, Dublin

Sometimes we have to check-in with ourselves and ponder if we’re actually the problem in interpersonal situations. Is her disdain for you warranted? Are you perhaps a little too cheery in the morning? Are you a little too full-on and interfering? Do you get up in her personal bubble? Are you good with deadlines etc. if you’re sharing projects? Ask yourself these questions. You might end up with the conclusion that you’re perfect and she’s simply a grumpy bitch you’ll just have to bear. Or you just might not be her type of person, and that’s okay too.

I’ve liked guys all my life – like, love men. But I met an amazing girl a few months ago who I’ve kinda fallen for?! We’d kiss on nights out, I’ve gone back to hers a few times and generally we have so much fun together. Do I leave the man ship and stay with her, or ignore this and go back to guys? Michelle, Dublin

Why would you give up something that sounds cute and fun?! The older I get the more I reject fixed labels when it comes to describing oneself/sexuality. I truly believe sexuality is a spectrum, and people fall on it in different places and as you grow, you can realise that your sexuality might not be as rigid as you thought it once was. So I would say enjoy the ride (lol) you’re on at the moment and see how it goes. Don’t limit yourself and go with your pure, gut feeling at the end of the day rather than what you *think* you should be thinking.

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