How Should We Start Tackling Toxic Masculinity in Ireland?

Toxic masculinity, accelerated by societal expectations and harmful online content, plays a significant role in normalising violence and unhealthy relationships.

Here in Ireland, we must move beyond our traditional sex education and incorporate healthy discussions that redefine masculinity. This shift is essential in equipping young men with the emotional intelligence and critical thinking skills necessary to resist toxic ‘manosphere’ influencers like Andrew Tate. 

But where do we start? Well, looking at the type of content boys tend to watch online might be a good jumping off point.

The correlation between pornography and gender-based violence is one that cannot be ignored. Within the Sexual Exploitation Research and Policy Institute of Ireland’s study, Dr. Meagan Tyler questions if men’s porn consumption is part of the loneliness of masculinity and the “alienation of masculine norms of heterosexuality.”

If this is the case, perhaps introducing men’s workshops to the classroom is a way to combat toxic masculinity and support young men who may be consuming harmful manosphere content or even violent pornography. 

Johnny Cole, founder of men’s work organisation Hey Brother, leads a healthy masculinity and boyhood mentorship programme in his local high school in Cleveland, Ohio. Participants in this programme are boys aged from 14 to 17.

The goal of this programme is to get young men to think critically about “the script of manhood that they’ve been taught” and allow them to choose a version of manhood and masculinity that authentically aligns with their values rather than “what they think they need to perform in order to fit into these man box ideals.”

The organisation is defined as self-development and anti-patriarchal education. It has a combination of emotional skills development exercises, vulnerability exercises, breath work and somatic awareness, along with critical discussions on topics such as gender and masculinity.  

“It is astounding how emotionally intelligent boys actually are when they’re given a space that is modelled for them,” Johnny says. 

Cole begins the course by asking young men open ended questions such as “what does it mean to be a man?” or “what are some of the traditional qualities that you can think of; are these stereotypes helpful or harmful?” Once Cole believes that the young men are ready to discuss more serious consequences of toxic masculinity, he goes into ideas like the rape culture pyramid and porn literacy.

 

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Cole believes that gender-based violence is a product of unhealed men. From a very early age men are expected to “kill off the parts of ourselves that make us human, like our emotional selves,” he says. 

“When you grow up normalising that level of self-abuse, it is so much easier to justify the abuse of others.” This is why, Cole says, creators such as Andrew Tate and David Goggins are so popular because they “align with our preexisting attitude” that men’s pain doesn’t matter.

While Cole’s programme is not defined as sexual or health education, the success of this course for young men is undeniable.  

If programmes such as this were implemented into the SPHE curriculum with outside organisations educating our young people around pornography usage, gender-based violence, rape culture, perhaps students would feel more comfortable opening up in a classroom setting. 

Domestic violence campaigner Jason Poole says education has a huge part to play in ending gender-based violence. He believes parents and guardians play a “massive role” in educating their children around these topics, but from his experience, perpetrators have often witnessed violence in the family home, and they then believe that this behaviour is acceptable in a relationship.

Poole says that it is brilliant that there is more education around domestic violence in Ireland’s new SPHE programme, but the curriculum does not adequately support those who may be experiencing or witnessing domestic violence at home, students and teachers included.

“There are going to be young people in the room who are experiencing this behaviour at home. What supports are in place for those young people? That isn’t built into this curriculum.

“From the Department of Education, from the Department of Justice to the Department of Children and Youth Affairs, there is a massive collaborative piece of work that needs to be done.”

Poole believes that learning about these topics during the Junior Cycle may be too late for many. “We are missing a gap with 5th and 6th class in primary schools […] If we don’t start challenging this at primary and secondary school level, we are going to have the same issues, only double the figures, in ten years time.”

When children are learning about sex education for the first time, this is when subjects such as gender-based violence, misogynistic online content and pornography need to be addressed, Poole says. In cases where gender-based violence is normalised in the family home education is vital. 

Research emphasises the importance of equipping young people with critical thinking skills to navigate harmful online content.

Collaborative efforts between schools, parents, and external organisations are essential in ending the cycle of harm perpetuated by toxic masculinity. Normalised violence, and misinformation will only persist without this. 

Words by Abby Sammon