‘I Felt Like I’d Made The Worst Decision’: Adele Reveals Her Struggle With Post-Natal Depression
She found it hard to cope after the birth of her son Angelo, now three.
When it comes to her personal life, Adele tends to stay largely private, not only with the media but with those closest to her. In fact, in a new interview, the singer admits she found it hard to open up to anyone about the post-natal depression she suffered after her son Angelo was born.
“I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant,” she recalls in her cover interview with Vanity Fair. “My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘Fuck that, I ain’t hanging around with a fuckin’ bunch of mothers.'”
The 28-year-old, who is currently on tour in the US, explains how she didn’t recognise her symptoms at first, despite having battled with depression in various forms since her grandfather died when she was ten. “My knowledge of postpartum is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life,” she says. “It can come in many different forms.”
After finally opening up to a fellow mum – “I said to a friend, ‘I fuckin’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I fuckin’ hate this, too'” – Adele says things “lifted” for her, but admits she’s still “too scared” to think about having another child. Given that her partner Simon Koncecki has a daughter from his former marriage, the singer says she feels she has a sort of “get out of jail free” card.
Adele is also frank about the massive sacrifice she had to make to become a mum. “I think it’s the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids, because that’s what adults do,” she says. “I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, whenever I want.”
Since releasing the first single from her new album, 25, last year, Adele’s career has exploded once again, but she says her personal life has stayed as normal as it can be., largely thanks to her Simon, 14 years her senior.
“I have no desire to be with anyone in show business, because we all have egos. He [Simon]’s not threatened by any stage of my life that I’m going for, and that’s an amazing thing… Simon is already who he is, and I’m still becoming who I’m going to be. He’s confident. He’s perfect.”
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