My 30 Day Yoga Challenge: Day 12 & I’ve Been Frenemied

Laura’s smug yoga nemesis.

Today was just NOT a good day. I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus – in fact I’m sure of it. Who knew Bikram yoga would make walking, standing, sitting – and y’know, living, so unbearable?!

The last thing I wanted to do today was go to yoga. The thought of spending the evening cuddled up on the couch with a Dominos meal for three (for, er, one) washed down with a few glasses of Chardonnay was far more appealing.

But just as I was dreaming about my upcoming feast my friend called me. “Hey Laura,” she shrieked, “what class are you going to today? I’m dying to get back into yoga, so we can be yoga buddies! Yay!” Yay? No bloody way, was what I was actually thinking.

I didn’t want her to know that my 30 day yoga challenge wasn’t exactly going to plan, and I was actually intending on skipping the next few days due to a ‘mysterious illness’.

I had to say yes though, because this girl is the type of who’d be like, “oh well, at least you tried, it’s not for everybody is it,” in the most judgmental tone possible, so I faked an enthusiastic response and told her to meet me at 7pm at the studio. I did this, readers, knowing that you have to arrive at 6.45pm to get a good place, but she deserved a to be stuck at the back beside the sweaty men – she ruined my perfect night after all! You’ve got to take your petty revenge where you can, eh?

The last thing I wanted to do today was go to yoga. The thought of spending the evening cuddled up on the couch with a Dominos meal for three (for, er, one) washed down with a few glasses of Chardonnay was far more appealing.

But when I arrived ready for the hour of torture I realised she was on to my evil plan (must work harder at being less transparent…) and was eagerly waving at me showing me the places she’d saved for us both – right beside the teacher!!

Then, to add insult to injury, she spent the whole class showing off her amazing yoga skills, completing all of the advanced yoga poses, which of course made me look even worse than usual. Sigh. I didn’t know this was even possible.

The yoga instructor felt so bad for me as I was attempting to mimic my friend’s handstand that she came over and said, sympathetically, “is it your first class? Take it slow.” First class?! If only she knew…

I then spent the remainder of the class thinking of ways to make my mate loose her balance and fall over, but I chickened out for fear that the yoga teacher would think I was even more stupid than she already did.

When the class was over, I stormed out sans mat and very definitely ex-friend. I can safely say I do not need or want a yoga buddy.

Sorry Sarah: it’s you, not me: friendship over. I’m afraid I’m frosting the hell out of you.

READ MORE: You can catch up on the whole of the yoga challenge here. 

• 30 Day Yoga Challenge
• Anxiety
• exercise
• wellness
• yoga