Why We Should All Be Celebrating Inchstones, Not Just Milestones

When was the last time you celebrated a big life event? Maybe you turned 30, or bought a house, or finished college. Maybe you got married, or had your first child, or started your dream job. Milestones like these tend to make up a life. They’re markers of achievements, points of time that we look forward to, make a big deal of, and clap ourselves on the back for eventually achieving. 

Now, when was the last time you celebrated an inchstone? The time you got through a particularly stressful week in work? The moment you perfected a difficult pastry recipe? Or the day when you decided to start dating again after a breakup?

Inchstones are not major moments. They’re not life altering experiences that are going to be looked back upon with pride and fulfilment… but maybe they should be. Where so many of us spend time hoping to achieve milestones, so few of us take a moment to celebrate the little wins – the smaller moments that could easily be just as significant and life defining, but most of the time remain undetected, and under the radar. 

Manifestation Life Coach Judith McAdam MPhil (@judith_mcadam) says that although we’re conditioned to celebrate (and chase) those big, life-altering milestones, the expectation to reach them can often leave us anxious and disappointed. “This means we miss out on the rich experiences that are happening right in front of us,” she says.

“It’s the smaller pockets of life, those moments of support, love, kindness, and joy, that truly embellish our days. These are the inchstones – the seemingly insignificant moments that, when layered together, bring us into a state of ease, fun, joy, play and abundance.” 

Too often, we compare ourselves to others. Log onto Instagram and you’ll be met with a plethora of grid posts announcing engagements, weddings, pregnancies, new homes, anniversaries, new jobs… the list goes on. These achievements are worth posting about. Social media is largely a tool for keeping people updated, but it’s also one of the most detrimental devices we have when it comes to comparison.

“This is where our internal dialogue often stagnates at self-doubt, lack of self-worth and low self-esteem,” says Judith. “Rarely does our internal chitter-chatter include confidence worthiness and personal power. This can be particularly pervasive when it comes to financial and romantic achievements, where the pressure to ‘keep up’ can overshadow our own genuine progress and happiness.” 

Generally, the concept of inchstones is applied most frequently to children. Instead of only celebrating major milestones like a first birthday or first words, parents are now taking care to mark the smaller achievements in their kids’ lives – like them finally sleeping through the night or the first time they get invited to a classmate’s birthday party.

In fact, Pinterest’s trend report for 2024 predicted that ‘inchstones’ would be a major point of reference for families this year. “In 2024, tiny triumphs will make the heart grow fonder as parents sprinkle party vibes on their kids’ not-so-grand moments. Baby’s first tooth? Here’s a cupcake. Potty training success? Extra sprinkles, please,” they said. But is there anything stopping us adults from hopping on the inchstone train, and giving ourselves credit for accomplishing the little things too? 

Judith points to ‘pockets’ of personal triumph as a means of recognising personal growth. Rather than waiting for major events to ‘transform’ our lives, why not use ‘pockets’ of daily experiences to do the same thing? “Imagine your daily routine as a canvas, each stroke of ease, play, and fun adds colour and texture to the overall picture,” she says.

“By consciously noticing these moments, appreciating them, and allowing them to accumulate, we create a masterpiece adorned with the details of life’s small joys. It’s about shifting our focus from the grandiose to the granular, from seeking sweeping changes to savouring the subtle.” 

Judith says that everyday accomplishments are not just deserving of our attention – in fact, they could actually be more integral to our personal growth than a moment of major achievement. “Recognising the pockets of when we’ve done a good job, not just in our professional tasks but in our personal growth and interactions, reinforces a positive self-image and motivates us to continue on our path of improvement,” she says. 

“By highlighting the daily ‘pockets’ or inchstones you begin to create something different in your life. Something real. You begin to love yourself and see your life in a completely different way. Sometimes we might not like what we see and that’s okay. By paying attention to the ‘pockets’ you create something new.” 

This article first appeared in the March/April issue of STELLAR 

Tags:

• inchstones
• mental health
• wellness