13th March 2018 by Valerie Loftus
Come and spend hundreds of euro while locked in a perfume and pink lighting-induced trance!
1. Wow. It is loud in here.
2. I think this is the what Janis Ian in Mean Girls was talking about when she told Cady she smelled like a baby prostitute.
3. It’s not very helpful that they’ve got larger-than-life images of these Angels all over the place. As if I needed a reminder that I look like a thumb.
4. When exactly could you wear a bra like this? Is it more of a top? And could I pull it off?
5. I just looked sideways at a staff member and apparently that’s enough permission for her to start measuring my bra size. Fair enough.
6. Hang on, she’s saying I’m a cup bigger than I thought it was? I’ve been living a lie!
7. Well now I’m going to have to try on some new bras that actually fit the bustier, boobier new me. And maybe I’ll take the lacy bra-top in too?
8. This fitting room is nicer than my entire house.
9. I’m really excited to try on this lacy bra actually. I think it could change my whole life.
10. OH NO I’M STUCK. WHY DID I THINK I COULD DO THIS? I might have to live in this fancy fitting room, boobs out, arms in the air, forever more.
11. Or I could push the help button and get the lady to free me. But that might be worse. Do you think they deal with this type of thing a lot?
12. No, I’ve got it. If I just wriggle a bit to the left I should be able to pop my arm out. I’m free! This must have been what Nelson Mandela felt like.
13. These other, plainer bras are actually lovely. And two for €49? A steal!
14. Five pairs of knickers for €30 seems like such a deal too. Like, I’ve never paid more than €2 for knickers ever but maybe I could start? To go with the new bras.
15. Oh there’s Adriana Lima modelling the lacy bra top like it’s no big deal. STOP TAUNTING ME ADRIANA LIMA.
16. I think I’m getting a headache from inhaling so much of this sugary sweet perfume. I’ve got to take the bras and the knickers and get out of here.
17. €80! Haha, no problem. I just came in to see what all the fuss is about and now I have spent €80. Great! Cool!
18. Don’t ever let me in here again.
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