STELLAR is sorting the fact from the fiction
You know the saying ‘school is always in session’, well no truer does that ring through when it comes to sex ed. So many of us were deprived of a decent sexual education in school thanks to a Catholic education system, and now as adults, we’re paying for it. The entire act itself was shrouded in so much mystery when we were coming of age that now, we still find it hard to differentiate the fact from the fiction. So, as grown-ass women, let’s talk about sex. Well, specifically, lets talk about what people get wrong when it comes to sex. Although we’re all well versed in that area by now *wink wink* there’s still a lot of misinformation and false beliefs out there, ahead are 9 of the most stubborn that need putting to bed asap.
Fact: Ah, slut-shaming at its finest. This one is in fact, completely untrue. Outlined by Health Line, frequent sex won’t make your vagina loose any of it’s stretch. Other factors such as childbirth and age can affect the vagina’s elasticity, but sex cannot. If you do feel your vagina’s elasticity loosen, for example you may feel less control over your bladder, you can correct this by practicing pelvic exercises.
Fact: Penis owners and lovers alike will be delighted to hear that size in fact, does not matter. Of course personal preference comes into play here, but size has no impact on its ability to perform and give pleasure. As the saying goes, it’s not what you’ve got, it’s how you use it. Regardless of the size of the peen, good sex all comes down to stamina and finesse. In fact, experts argue that a larger penis can have a higher risk of injury and infection, as extra length can make some positions painful and extra girth can result in tears. Hmm, maybe small dick energy is where it’s at.
Fact: Em, no. Of course some lesbians choose to scissor, it’s a personal preference. But, there are other ways to have sex and make another person climax, that doesn’t involve scissoring. Oh, and while we’re at it, lesbian sex doesn’t have to involve a dildo either. To reiterate, penetration doesn’t have to be involved to result in an orgasm, so many lesbians opt to keep anything phallic out of the intimate equation.
Fact: Bad news guys and dolls, you can. As outlined by the HSE, an STI is a sexually transmitted infection or disease which is passed on through intimate sexual contact. This can be passed on through anal, vaginal and indeed, oral sex. During oral sex you can spread or contract chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, HIV, herpes, trichomoniasis, and syphilis.The best way to prevent contracting an STI is by using an in-date condom when having oral or vaginal sex. However, accidents do happen, so if you feel that you may have contracted an STD you can sort it out quickly and efficiently by visiting your local sexual health clinic.
Fact: Ah, those old chestnuts. These ones aren’t too hard to debunk because when there is penetration involved, there is a chance of pregnancy. Whether you have sex in water, sitting down or standing up, once a penis is unprotected and inside a vagina there is a chance that sperm will make it’s journey to it’s egg.
Here’s a list of things you can still get pregnant despite doing:
-If you have sex in water (ie a jucuzzi or shower)
-If you’re menstruating
-If you stand up after intercourse
-If you shower or take a bath after intercourse
-If you have sex standing up
Fact: For as long as condoms have existed, people with vaginas have been subjected to BS from people with penises about how “sex with a condom just doesn’t feel good”. The truth of the matter is, if sex with a condom doesn’t feel like anything, then how can sex with a condom still produce orgasms? Having intercourse without a condom if you do not wish to get pregnant or do not know your partners sexual history is ill-advised. If you and a partner do wish to have intercourse without using condoms it’s best practise to both get screened for STI’s and use another form of birth control such as the pill or bar to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
Fact: Wrong! Like so many things in life, consent is multifaceted. It’s important for individuals to have a clear understanding of what consent is, and what it means to them. One common misconception is that the topic of consent only relates to the act of intercourse, but this is actually wrong. Consent is a much broader social lesson in place to respect other people’s bodies. This involves all areas of relationships, both physical and emotional. So really, what consent comes down to is deciding for yourself how you want to receive connection and love in all its forms, and having the person with whom you’re connecting with respect that.
Fact: Again, no. Some lesbian women err more on the aesthetic of ‘feminine’ while others could lean towards ‘masculine’, just the same as straight women can. When it comes to lesbian relationships there doesn’t need to be a ‘man’ and a ‘woman’, there are no rules because style and sexual attraction are two separate things. The same applies to lesbian sex, there is no ‘gender deficiency’ that needs to be filled.
Fact: Say it with me ladies – no! It’s believed that around 75% of women don’t orgasm just through pentrative sex alone. Women orgasm in different ways and they can feel different for an individual woman at different times. Oftentimes just penetration isn’t enough for a cis female to orgasm, many women reach climax through stimulation of other ‘orgasm zones’ such as the clitoris, breasts, and nipples alongside intercourse, which can be achieved by using fingers or a vibrator – go mad gals!