Bible, I’m Done, A Recap On KUWTK’s Final Season – Episode 2

Welcome back to KUWTK’s final season recap with your resident Kardashian-Jenner super fan and apologist.

 

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This week’s edition opens with Kylie behind the scenes filming the WAP video. Remember she got a LOAD of hate for daring to be in the video? She was accused of everything from trying to steal women of colour’s space, to hyper sexualisation of course – that old chestnut – as if she wasn’t actually asked to be in the video, and just strutted on to the set to cause khaos. Well in this scene we see Cardi B saying she begged and prayed to have Kylie in the video and how happy she was that she was there. She was actually a little starstruck meeting Kylie, which was v cute?!

You can see the dollar signs lighting up Kris’ eyes. Kylie looks incredible in leopard print, and when Cardi tells her that she’s like “I’ve gained a little quarantine weight,” and she’s totally happy about it. Is this refreshing? I think so! Own those curves, Kyles.

 

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 There are three arcs in this episode. The first biggie is Khloe is talking about how she’s figuring stuff out with Tristan and how Scott made it complicated for her with an Instagram comment. He posted that Tristan was a lucky man on a pic of Khloe in underwear, causing every man and their dog to tell her she’s stupid and a walkover if she’s taken him back, The public’s opinions are clouding her own judgement on the situation and Kim is like stop this bowing down to the public! Lessons for us all here, kids

Next, they’re addressing the decimation of Kimye. Malika asks Kim how she is, to which she replies “I’m sane”. Eek! They allude to Kanye’s tweet rant (in which he calls her mother Kris Jong Un) but Kim won’t say much on camera. Khloe says Kim’s not even talking to them so it’s clearly serious.

And the final storyline is Kendall is talking about wanting kids because everyone else has them. I feel like this family feel similarly about lip injections. Wise Malika is here to set her straight. She’s all like, you have time babes. Khloe comes up with the genius idea of Kendall babysitting all their kids with no help as a test. 

 

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Tristan is pissed off about being a secret. Scott thinks he’s paid his dues and she should accept him back 100%. Tristan knows he’s messed up in the past and hurt Khloe *understatement of the century* but says they are basically a couple. Khloe said last episode they’re not together romantically, Tristan is now saying they sleep together. Scott says the only thing stopping them being together is the outside world and the media.

“Everyone that matters wants us to be happy and okay”, says Tristan. Scott says the child they’re planning together is much more of a commitment than being Insta official. He’s right!

Kendall’s baby fever is not extinguished by minding Malika’s four month old. She’s been “left” with the baby (and a full production crew) and just wants to keep him alive. Jesus, the poor baby. She enjoyed it though, still wants a sprog. Okay, says Khloe. Try the toddlers next.

Everyone is worried about Kim because of Kanye.She’s trying to go to Wyoming to see him but he’s saying no. Kris doesn’t know how she’s coping with the stress. Me neither tbqh. She’s talking to a third party saying she wants to come and chill with her husband anytime. Sheesh.

 

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The sisters plan a night in the Malibu mansion sans kids for Kim, just the three eldest with private chefs and a load of booze. At first it seems verrrrrry dry, but Khloe gets the party started with some shots. She also starts picking on Kourtney because that’s Kim’s favourite activity, and they get Kourt to admit that an unnamed ex (likely Younes Bendjima) was negative for her. They eventually get pissed and do old Kardashian stuff like, like Khloe putting Kourtney in a box. V nostalgic, and also really makes me want sisters. 

Meanwhile, Kendall is allegedly babysitting the toddlers – Chicago, True and Psalm. I don’t believe this is the same night, and looks super tough tbqh. The kids are the prettiest children I’ve ever seen, but it’s nuts. Side note – Kendall looks so good. Her work is very subtle and natural.

The episode wraps up with Kim going to Wyoming to try and talk to her husband, Khloe apologising to Tristan for being secretive about him and their relationship progress, and Kendall still having baby fever but wanting to wait a while. You’re 25 and a millionaire hun, relax your cacks. 

If there’s one thing this series needs so far, it’s Kris Jenner antics. Give the woman some vodka and let the cameras roll. Next week, it’s all about Kourtney and Scott both being single and everyone plotting to get them back together. Give me STRENGTH! 

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